It’s pet-peeve time! I do seem to have plenty of those, do I not? Anyway, I have returned to discuss The Thing That Bugs Me To No End (face it, picking at people is fun. Oh, I’m just darling, I know) – unpointed toes! Not only are they icky and ugly, they have the potential to ruin an otherwise beautiful body line. What evil little things they are.
I guess they can’t all be Lilia Podkopayevas.
The following is a list of the top ten offenders.
Yelena Zamolodchikova: Zamo, for all her awesome-ness, has horrible form. Horrible. As for her toes, it’s not so much that she doesn’t want or even try to point them, it’s just that they look like they won’t bend any farther. Work on your flexibility, girl!
Yelena Produnova: what is it with those Yelenas, huh? I think they are born with their ankles flexed the wrong way. For what it’s worth, I always loved Produ – and I mean loved (she was definitely the coolest gymnast out there. Ever. Of all time) – but her lack of toe point just didn’t cut it for me. Remember her oh-so-fabulous handspring double front vault (especially the one she threw at the 1999 University Games. Man, that was fierce!)? Although I, like everyone else, often get lost in the amazing-ness that is that skill, I must admit that sometimes I feel like her flexed toes just kill it. Except they don’t, really, because that vault is gigantic. Lena, I almost forgive you.
Bridget Sloan: oh, the classic example of a gymnast with a beautiful body lines and icky icky toes. In her defense, she only really flexes them on Tkatchevs – but man, does she flex them! I wonder why her coach hasn’t bothered to fix it yet? It’s like eye rape!
Oksana Chusovitina: we all know that Chuso’s form is not one of the Seven Wonders, toe point (or lack thereof) included. Or maybe it’s just those hideous gym shoes. Whatever it is, I wish Chuso would clean up her lines. It’s not like she hasn’t had the time, if you know what I mean (wink, wink).
Jana Bieger: also known as The Girl Who Really Missed Out On Her Ballet Lessons (at least those in which dancing en pointe was discussed) and perhaps the biggest culprit. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not of a Jana fan. Her gymnastics is not aesthetically pleasing. At all. I hope the judges take notice. Maybe then Mama Bieger will actually fix it.
Carly Patterson: we all know Carly was a very, um, relaxed (as in calm and composed and light on her feet) gymnast, and it definitely showed in her feet (that was an odd sentence, wasn’t it?). It’s almost as if she was so chill about it all that she forgot to tighten up her toes. Dude, you’re not in Barbados. Don’t relax your feet. It doesn’t look nice.
Anyone with the travesty that are gym shoes: the list is endless (and predominantly Romanian). I don’t know whether their toes are actually unpointed or if the shoes are simply working their wonders (not), but I can’t stand the look on a gymnast. Ew.
Steliana Nistor: blame it on the gym shoes.
Nastia Liukin: as much as it pains me to include Nastia on this list, you gotta give credit where credit is due. Nastia seems to chuck her usually lovely toepoint away in her gym bag whenever she performs a double front-type skill. Why, Nastia, why?
Camelia Voinea: again, I think it’s the gym shoes. But dear lord.